Great Things to Talk about on a First Date

talk on the first date

What to talk about on a date, that is the question. The answer is that it will vary – with each person you have a unique connection and what you talk about will depend on that. However, there are definitively topics that will generally go down well on a first date, whilst there are other topics that won’t.

First of all, as the things to talk about on a first date will vary depending on the person you are with and their interests (as well as you and your interests) it’s important to bear in mind listening and reading people’s body language. Just because a topic went down well last week with someone else, doesn’t mean it will go down well with your new date. If you say something that doesn’t go down well with the other person, you will notice that on their body language. That’s when it’s time to change the topic.

When people wonder about what to talk about on a first date they often wonder about if they should talk about what they want in a relationship or not? The answer is that it depends on how you talk about it. You can say you want a serious relationship, because who doesn’t want true love? But you are taking it easy and exploring people, as you never know what a connection with someone might lead to. You don’t want to say that you want a serious relationship and won’t waste time on anything else – you need to know up front that the person you are dating is 100% serious. The latter will make some people run for the hills as it sounds like you will attach yourself to a person before you know them. Nobody wants to commit to someone before they know if they like them. The more you pressure them to do so, the less they will like it. Besides, if you make them work for it, they will feel that you don’t just date anyone, but rather you have standards, and that will make them work for it so much more.

So yes, amongst the questions to ask on a first date it’s perfectly fine to ask what someone is looking for in the dating jungle, after all you want to know. Just be sure to make it clear that if you’re looking for true love you don’t sound like you’ll get serious after one date, but rather that you’re keeping your options open until you’re certain you like someone and if you’re looking for flings, don’t write off true love. Say you’re just looking for flings, but if you find true love in the process, then so be it. Be honest, just don’t be so attached to what you have in mind that you lose out on other possibilities.

Other good questions to ask on a first date include questions that bring out your date’s passions. If you get someone to talk about what they love, conversation often flows a lot more easily. Ask them about what turns them on in life. What makes them smile?

Also include fun/quirky questions – ask what the most embarrassing thing they’ve ever done is? Ask what kind of super power they’d like to have? Or what they’d do if they were President for the day and could change on thing?

Deeper questions are also good, because it breeds intimacy and intimacy is what makes people fall in love. Ask them what one of their favorite childhood memories is? What would they do if they could take a gap year and had unlimited finances for it? Do they want to travel? What were their most interesting finds when traveling? Have they ever experienced something super natural? Do they believe in fate?

Great first date conversation topics should include lighthearted talk about the last movie you watched and loved, funny/quirky questions and some deeper questions. The specific things to talk about on a date really do vary depending on the person, so set yourself the task of finding out what they love, what make them tick, and have them talk about that. Try to relate your questions to topics surrounding it, or topics related to it. Don’t get stuck on one thing, keep exploring. And emphasize when you find things you have in common – it will make your date feel more connected to you. Share stories about those things.

A note of warning: don’t interrogate people. Share stories and come up with lead on questions, don’t just launch a “question attack.” No one wants to feel like you’re assessing their character, they want to feel like you’re exploring them and finding out what you have in common. So bear that in mind when pondering the things to talk about on a date.