I Have Just Found out my Girlfriend is Bisexual!
You might have been dating your girlfriend for a short while or for a number of years and think that everything is as it should be until she shocks you with a huge confession. The words “I am Bisexual” might fill you with fear or it could excite you but however you look at it, it is certainly not what you were expecting.
Every day, you wake up and think that your girlfriend is your usual type who is only interested in you when in reality, you could not be further from the truth. There is nothing wrong with being bisexual but when it hits you in the face and makes you question whether you knew her at all, it gets you thinking more about your relationship as a whole. Can the relationship go on? What will change? Will she stray? Does she still like me? All of these questions will be running through your mind but if you stop and take stock of what she has said, you might be able to make sense of it.
There are many things in life that we think about and this is not one of them but taking the time to understand it can help you to appreciate what living with a bi girlfriend can be like.
Think about her to begin with
While you might be in complete shock, have you thought about how it is from her perspective? She might have had this confession bottled up for months or even years and now she has told you in confidence. She could be hoping that you simply take it for what it is and deal with it because the chances are, that is what she wants. She wants you to look at her in the same way and feel the same about her as you always have done because in her eyes, nothing has really changed. You might be thinking that you are now at more of a threat from not only one sex but two but that has always been the case, only you were not aware of it. However, with this confession she wants you to take it, deal with and move on and that is what you should do because she has not changed in anyway. It is still the same person and you can still be intimate with her and enjoy her company in the same way as you always have done.
However, from your perspective, it is vital that you look at how you should deal with it but also how it can and cannot benefit you. There is no doubt that this will change how you feel in the short term but understanding the ways it can impact you will enable you to create a clearer picture and make it easier for you to work out a way in which to cope with the news. It is important to remember though, that it certainly is not the end of the world – in fact many would see it as a bit of an adventure.
The Advantages of having a bisexual girlfriend
Of course, many men would jump at the chance to have a girlfriend who has an interest in both men and women. This is because their minds are working overtime thinking about the advantages that come with dating someone who is attracted to both sexes. There is no doubt that there are advantages to it and understanding those advantages can certainly make life easier for you and of course, a lot more enjoyable!
You have a shared interest
First of all, you will both appreciate the beauty of women as you both check out other women and even agree whether they are hot or not. This shared interest can certainly add a twist to your relationship and can make you appreciate women even more because you get to see it from the perspective of a woman. Of course, you might have different tastes but even that can add an element of intrigue to your relationship. In fact, she could even point out things in women that you once missed and that will give you a knowledge that many men do not get access to!
It can spice up your sex life
This is all down to how adventurous you both are but if you are into girls and she is into girls then that makes for a very interesting recipe in the bedroom. She might like the idea of bringing someone else into the relationship now that she has admitted her sexuality to you and this can bring with it, mind blowing experiences. If she gets excited over this idea then you can be sure that it is going to work for you and that can take your sex life to levels you thought would never exist in your relationship.
Your relationship becomes more open
This one could make some feel awkward but when your girlfriend announced that she was bisexual it could indicate that she wants you to have an open relationship. The fact that she is attracted to other women might leave her curious and could mean that she wants to find out more about the desires that she has. For you, this could also mean that you can benefit from the same kind of arrangement. However, it is important the finer details of an open relationship are dealt with in a sensitive way because getting it right can have a huge impact on your relationship. This will be one of those things that you know happens but isn’t discussed in depth. For you, this is kind of about letting her explore an important part of her life and a part she may never have explored but what it will require is openness and honesty.
You will find that your bisexual girlfriend will have a lot of love to offer because they are attracted to two sexes. This is backed by studies that show exactly how bisexual women tend to have a higher sex drive. So, you should really count yourself lucky because she will barely try to find an excuse to skip some fun time in the bedroom.
The disadvantages of having a bisexual girlfriend
You feel a sexual threat
There is every possibility that you now feel threated by the other sex. You now have to compete with other women who she may have experienced and that can lead to problems. It is possible for you to feel as though women know exactly how to please other women and that leaves you falling short.
It can cause a problem in the bedroom
Just because your girlfriend is bisexual, it does not mean that she has the same interests as you when it comes to sharing your time in the bedroom with someone else. There is a chance that your girlfriend feels different when she is with you when compared to how she feels when she is with a woman. She could be submissive when in your presence but on the flip side she could be dominant when it comes to being with other women. So, while you might have other ideas in the bedroom, she might not feel the same way.
It can lead to insecurities
Sometimes we all just want to take things easy, especially when your partner is the one who wants to have a little fun. Of course, this can lead to a different feeling when you consider that your girlfriend is bisexual because you could end up believing that she is being unfaithful. A suspicious mind is no good for any relationship and if that feeling manifests then it could leave you heading your separate ways.
She could compare you
We all have that niggling doubt in our minds about the previous partners of our partners. We wonder whether we match up with them. We concern ourselves with whether we are as good as them and whether we offer the same. However, when it comes to your bisexual girlfriend, she could end up comparing you to her previous girlfriend which for any man, could become a real problem when it comes to self-esteem and pride.
It is not as bad as it seems and it can actually work
Once you are given the news that your girlfriend is a bisexual, your fight or flight instinct might kick in. Do you run for the hills or stick around and maintain that this girl is yours and will remain that way. There are many positives to having a bisexual girlfriend but it is identifying the problems that can arise that will help you to come to terms with the short shock. You need to embrace it, take it step by step and enjoy all that she has to offer because she is still the same person and nothing can change that.
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Author: Alex Reddle
Alex Reddle – online dating specialist. He got his Psychological degree at Kent State University. He specializes in the subject of Interpersonal relationships, love, finding a partner. He likes to study human behavior and ways of communication. Being Chief Editor of Flirt.com blog he has conducted a big research in this sphere.