How to Escape from a Bad Date

Some of you may be nodding your head or rolling your eyes in silent appreciation of the horror of a first date that was so awful you can barely bring yourself to recount. Others may be filled with dread at the prospect of a terrible first date and hoping that it doesn’t happen to you.

You may be wondering why it would happen to you if you have spent time getting to know someone on an online dating site. They seemed so witty, sharp and fun to talk to online. The reality may be someone different though. From being with someone who talks rather loudly about themselves all night to feeling that the other person is going to pressure you into something you don’t want to do, you are going to need some solid excuses as to how to escape the nightmare date.

Arrange for someone to call you

So, you’ve sat there bored to tears by the person who came across much better when you messaged each other online. In fact, you are utterly confused as to how the witty, sharp person you got to know in an online chat room could be so boring in real life. You want to leave but you don’t want to tell them that quite frankly you’d rather be at home watching Gardeners World! How do you escape? Well, you could fake a case of food poisoning although you’ve only had a bread roll so that’s not going to wash. Instead, you make your excuses, go to the bathroom and call your mum, best friend or babysitter to ask them to call you in 15 minutes. Back at the table and right on cue the phone rings and there is an emergency – the kids are refusing to get down off the window ledge, your cat threw up all over the floor or the bailiffs have turned up to take your furniture away. In fact, the latter may ensure that they don‘t call you again. You make your excuses and leave, thankful for the fact that you never have to see that person again.

Spill the drink!

You love your new sexy dress. You spent a fortune on it and you were hoping you could take it back tomorrow as the label is still attached. The date is so hideous that you truly believe if the other person laughs like that again you may be asked to leave the restaurant. You want the ground to swallow you up. There is only one thing for it! You are going to have to spill that glass of red wine down yourself. Brace yourself, reach over for the salt and make sure you do an Oscar-winning performance of shock and horror as the wine tips onto that gorgeous designer dress… now you are so distraught that you can’t possibly resume with the date and you must go home and change before the wet dress brings on hypothermia.

Make a run for it

Now this one is going to require you to be cold. This is going to be difficult if your date is perfectly nice but there’s just no chemistry. If that’s all it is then is it really going to hurt you to stay until the end or at least stay for a more respectable amount of time? If they are a complete pain in the backside though then we say make a run for it. With those loud, overbearing, arrogant types that like to talk about themselves with a real sense of narcissism, sometimes subtle just won’t work. You are going to have to do one of two things. Get up and say “this isn’t working for me” and head out of the door or say you are going to the toilet and find a way out of the back. You may need to enlist the help of a sympathetic waiter for this one though. Either way, if you are going to leave you may want to pay some of the bill before you go unless they really are that awful.

Re-enact ‘When Harry met Sally’

This one will bring a smile to the face of anyone who has ever watched the film ‘When Harry Met Sally’. If you haven’t watched it then it’s time to ‘Google’ it and check out what we mean! If you are feeling particularly brave and fancy having a bit of fun then pretending you are having a really, really, really good time with an Oscar-winning Meg Ryan performance, can go one of three ways:

1. He really likes it and it just makes the situation worse
2. He really doesn’t like it – job done!
3. You get kicked out of the restaurant, again job done!

Now if you are the shy type this one is not going to work – you are going to need to have some ‘balls’ to pull this off.

Ask someone for help

If the date is leaving you feeling that you may not be safe or you are feeling uncomfortable then forget about hurting the other person’s feelings. Your safety is the number one priority. If you are in a public place then find help. There are code word campaigns that can help in this situation. Find a waiter, a barman or a member of the security staff and ask them to call you a taxi then sit tight. If you feel you need escorting to the taxi then don’t be afraid to ask. Make sure that the person you are with doesn’t hear you telling someone where you are going and exit the date as quickly and safely as possible.

Now, while we don’t want to put you off your first date, you do need to be prepared for any situation. Make sure you have an escape plan if your date turns out to be a disaster but don’t spend the night waiting to use one. Try and have fun and just use the above in an emergency. You never know you may well have the time of your life and can’t wait for the next date.