How to Stop Being Jealous in a Relationship
Prevent or avoid jealousy in a relationship
While you may be in a very happy and loving relationship, often feelings of jealousy can creep in when you really wish they wouldn’t. These feelings, however unfounded or silly they seem, can gnaw away at you and start making you doubt the other person to the point where it can cause damage and mistrust. In order to avoid the potential issues that this may bring to your relationship, we take a look at how you can stop being jealous and insecure and prevent these feelings when they do surface.
Recognise when you are being jealous
Do you know when you are being jealous and if your jealousy is healthy or a cause for concern? Do you want to stop having these feelings and doubting your boyfriend or girlfriend and learn how to put things into perspective so that you can avoid the damage that they could cause to your relationship? The first step is to recognize the feelings and learn how to deal with them. This will take some work and some self-discipline for some, for others it will just be a case of managing these feelings. Learning to understand and what’s making you feel like that and to deal with it positively.
There are many reasons that jealousy occurs. It’s not just restricted to relationships but can happen growing up with siblings or being jealous of friends of peers. In fact, it is very rare never to have a jealous twinge or two at some point in our lives – it’s only natural. It is when these feelings start to cause damage to a relationship that it is time to address them.
You have to learn to trust each other
Trust is key in any relationship. Without trust then you are really doomed to fail. Ask yourself this “what reason do you have to not trust the other person?” You chose to be with each other and you get along great, the sex is fantastic and you are having a great time but you see them chatting to a girl that they work with, or an old boyfriend that they used to be serious with, and all of a sudden you see red. You have to quash those feelings and be confident in your relationship. Otherwise, you are always going to be second-guessing what the other one feels and feeling paranoid all the time.
Don’t judge this relationship by past ones
If you want to be truly happy it is time to let go of the past and learn to love again without fear of being hurt. If you were cheated on in a previous relationship or if someone let you down really badly, you may be waiting for the same to happen again. The trouble is that jealousy can ruin your future relationships. If you expect bad things to happen, sometimes you can even bring them on. Try and let go of what went before and learn to love and trust again.
Don’t turn what you have into a paranoid jealousy relationship, focus on the positives and why you are together. Think of the good things, the good times and the things that you love about each other. When those jealousy pangs start to raise their head, go to a happy place and focus on the good things. While you may not be able to negate the feelings, you can at least try and quash them so that they aren’t visible.
Stop paranoia and insecurity ruining your happiness
You need to get over your jealousy and save your relationship before it gets to a point where you both start resenting each other and the constant accusations, doubt and mistrust. If it is a new relationship then those early negative feelings will stop it in its tracks before you even have a chance to experience how great it can be. If you are in a more long-term relationship then it can start to eat away and cause arguments and resentment. A longer-term relationship should give you the confidence that you are the only one for him/her and that you don’t have anything to worry about.
Confidence is so much more attractive than jealousy
There’s something attractive about a woman that oozes confidence or a guy that is comfortable in his own skin. Jealousy is an ugly trait that can ruin this confidence and can actually make people seem less attractive. While you may feel jealous, having the skill to be able to hide it or rise above it is a skill that’s well worth having. The green-eyed monster may be trying to raise its head inside of you but on the outside, you are styling it out.
Are your feelings unfounded or a cause for concern?
Of course, unfounded jealousy is something that, with a bit of work, you can control and learn to live with but when you have every reason to be doubt or mistrust your partner then the outcome could be different. If you are with someone that flirts with every girl they meet or, if you have good reason to expect that they are up to no good, then you have good cause to air these feelings and confront the other person. Don’t put up with constant flirting and learn how to recognize the real danger signs.
Learning to appreciate what you have is the key to happiness. Of course, we always want more money, more friends, more clothes, more shoes, a better job, a nicer house…but sometimes focusing on the wrong things can make you lose sight of what is really important. Appreciate that you have a partner that loves you or that you have met someone that you get along great with and stop trying to sabotage it.
Author: Sandra Baker
Sandra Baker – relationships writer, reader, and cookie lover. She is into everything related to love, beauty and health. Music Enthusiast. Book Worm.