Understanding How to deal with Rejection from a Girl
How to deal with rejection from a girl
As guys, there is nothing quite so hard to stomach as rejection from a girl. In fact, many guys don’t even put themselves out there for fear of being rejected by a girl. There are some guys that have a much thicker skin that can take being turned down with a pinch of salt but then there are others who find it quite crushing. At the end of the day though, no one wants to be rejected but there are ways of handling it.
Different types of rejection
It may help to deal with it better if you understand the different types of rejection and how you should approach them. Is it the type of women that you are trying to win over or are you giving up before you have even started? Different approaches will have different outcomes and sometimes the way you ask can be the difference between a yes and a no. You may also be asking women out that are in a relationship already or that are coming out of a particularly hard relationship. It is always good to try and discover as much as possible about the girl before you ask her out.
Cold blooded, hard-faced rejection
First of all, there is the cold-blooded rejection of the ice queen. She has no feelings and she has no qualms about trampling all over your heart. Smile, laugh it off and show her that you are completely unfazed by her rudeness. Most of the time it is her problem and not yours. Unless you are completely arrogant and approach the whole situation completely wrong. If it happens to you regularly then it may be time to re-think your approach.
The ‘kind, warm and fluffy’ rejection
Not all women are ice maidens and will be a lot kinder in their rejection to the point where it sends you mixed messages. If she doesn’t answer with a direct no, but a fluffy response then it can be hard to read the situation correctly. Don’t push it if she seems like she is struggling to find a response, or if you aren’t getting a comfortable vibe from her. Instead, say something like ‘nice talking to you’ and move on.
Are you really rejecting her?
On the opposite end of the scale, you may have a woman that actually would say ‘yes’ if you were a bit more confident and asked. Some men just expect the girl to say no and in their roundabout way, they almost assume the rejection before they even start talking to the girl. By the time you strike up a conversation, you have decided that it won’t go your way and don’t even ask.
How to ask a girl on a date
In order to stand a chance of success, often how you ask a girl out can make a huge difference. Some women love a guy that can make them laugh but that isn’t arrogant or cocky. Others like a guy with a quiet air of confidence. Don’t start swotting up on your best cheesy chat up lines. They very rarely work, instead, work on a confident way to ask her out.
How to handle rejection when you’re already in a relationship
Being rejected when you ask someone out for a date is not great but it’s not nearly quite as painful as being rejected when you are already in a relationship. Perhaps you have been seeing someone for a while and the spark has gone and they are ready to end things. You may not even see it coming. They may have met someone else or they may be just not feeling happy in the relationship anymore. This is hard to deal with and you need to understand how to cope with rejection on this level.
Sexual rejection from a girl
Sexual rejection from a girl can happen for many different reasons. She may not be in the mood, she may be tired or she may have a headache. These reasons aren’t you being rejected. It’s just that she doesn’t feel like having sex. Women are a lot more complex. When men can often turn it on at any time, women sometimes can take a while longer to prepare for sex. If she is constantly rejecting your advances though, it is important to talk to her and work out why. Maybe you are not focusing enough on her, or it is all a bit too rushed for her. Perhaps you are in a new relationship and she is not ready yet. Before you worry about it and jump to any conclusions it is important to establish what the problem is and how you can resolve it.
Don’t get angry at her rejection of you
While you may feel angry, no woman deserves to be the subject of your anger. Yes, you may feel it, but don’t take it out on them. If you feel you can’t cope with your feelings then it is important to remove yourself from the situation. Don’t become threatening or angry towards her. She may have committed the ultimate act of betrayal but you need to keep a lid on it and try and handles things in a cool and calm manner.
How to be friends with a girl who rejects you
Often when you ask a girl out and they reject you it’s fine because you won’t have to see them again. What happens though when its someone you know or someone that you see at work or at the gym? It can be awkward and while you may feel embarrassed or awkward, you need to get things into perspective. They may want to be your friend but not your girlfriend. Wouldn’t it be better to have them as a friend than not at all? If you are too pig-headed or stubborn to be friends or if you are having trouble dealing with the rejection then you could miss a great opportunity to have someone in your life.
Maintaining the boundaries as friends
Agreeing to be friends with someone who has rejected you is one thing but maintaining that friendship may take some work at first. You need to make sure that you give them enough space and that you aren’t always where they are. Don’t go over the top in the hope that they may change their mind and agree to go out with you (this isn’t beyond the realms of possibilities though). Be cool and casual and just keep it light and friendly. Say ‘hi’ when you see them, socialize in a group rather than one on one and treat them as you would if you hadn’t asked them out.
Asking out someone after being rejected
It can be hard to ‘get back on the horse’ straight after being rejected. If someone has said no to you, that feeling is still fresh in your mind. Of course, it was bad enough the first time, you don’t want to have to go through that again. You need to get over it though and try again. If you get the same response repeatedly then you need to ask yourself if it is your approach and try something else perhaps.
The key with how to handle rejection from a girl is not to take it personally. Just because you ask someone out doesn’t mean they have to say yes. Imagine your own reaction to someone that you didn’t want to go out with. It doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with them, it may just be that there is no chemistry or that you aren’t in the right place. You also need to try and keep your dignity even though you may not be feeling it on the inside. Don’t let it put you off asking someone else out though – there is someone out there that would love to go out with you.
Author: Alex Reddle
Alex Reddle – online dating specialist. He got his Psychological degree at Kent State University. He specializes in the subject of Interpersonal relationships, love, finding a partner. He likes to study human behavior and ways of communication. Being Chief Editor of Flirt.com blog he has conducted a big research in this sphere.