With So Many Dating Opportunities, Why Do Some Men Stay Single?
Why are men staying single? It is a choice, or have they had enough of rejection and decided to stay single because they prefer independence? As with anything else to do with relationships, there might be stereotypical viewpoints, but it’s often down to individual circumstances.
Why men are staying single
Being a single man can sometimes feel like an endurance test. Life can mimic a TV sitcom, where men without partners are constantly berated about their status. Friends or family feel obliged to set them up with dates, whether they’re suitable or not. Anything rather than see them staying single for too long.
But men staying single often do so because they actually relish this status. Sure, they see the people they know in relationships reaping the benefits: creating shared memories, establishing a loving bond, enjoying good health and regular intimacy, and making future plans. They also appreciate the downside: losing touch with friends, the arguments and friction which can occur in even the most contented partnership, and being tied down with the responsibilities of parenthood.
It’s not always a conscious decision to stay single because they don’t want to be in a relationship. People change their opinions all the time, and even the most devout singleton, who has been used to his own company for years, could find himself swept off his feet at the most unexpected moment.
Why do handsome guys stay single?
Why are good looking guys single? One obvious reason is their outlook on life is shaped by their self-awareness. Take a man who knows he can turn heads and has the financial clout to afford a classy bachelor pad, a top-of-the-range car and wear stylish clothes. If he is also outward-focused and socially confident, he may well be of the impression he can get pretty much any girlfriend he sets his eyes on. If that’s the case, and he’s still young enough to be undeterred by the prospect of still being alone when he reaches middle-age, then there is nothing to stop him playing the field.
Men don’t have to be the previously described business magnate either! Any male can prefer doing their own thing. If there’s a balance to be struck between the arguments of singleton freedom versus the contentment of a couple, there’s every chance they’ll argue the former is all the justification they need. They’ll imagine each looming weekend as a blank canvas where they can arrange to do anything they want, from the first thing that pops into their mind, to something they’ve been planning for a while. Or they can just as readily do nothing at all, at which point a cliched image is conjured of a guy sitting in his underwear in his flat, surrounded by empty takeaway cartons and beer bottles, the TV remote lodged firmly in his grasp.
When it comes to posing the question, why are good looking guys single, it could be for any of these reasons. Is it down to their preference for being a smooth operator, unfettered by monogamy or being bogged down by a partner? Or because they love the freedom of choosing their own destiny without having to synchronize timetables? But it could also be for a deeper rationale. Maybe they’ve been consciously single for so long they’ve lost their confidence when it comes to connecting with prospective partners? Perhaps they’ve experienced a painful relationship breakup and have been left licking their wounds. The point is, there are never any definite answers.
What are the issues with dating an independent man?
Someone who has been single for any length of time will most likely be set in his ways. When a new relationship starts, it can prove to be quite traumatic for him to suddenly have another person sharing their space. Their whole attitude will have to undergo a sea change.
Dating a man who has been single for a long time will require a modicum of understanding. They may well have grown used to engaging in flirty small talk with strangers – at the gym, or the coffee shop, and find it difficult to cut this out completely. As well as needing to be encouraged to lower their defenses, they’ll take time to adjust to what couples do. From now on, decisions will be shared, and sacrifices might need to be made.
What bad habits do single men get into?
When guys stay single too long, it can be hard for them to fully engage with a potential partner. If they’ve grown used to playing the field, it will seem the most natural thing in the world to always keep on eye out for the next viable alternative. This issue with commitment is exacerbated in the online arena. A guy might have previously cherished the ability to find different partners simply by browsing through a series of profiles or swiping right on his smart device.
For even the most fervent singleton, the time may well come when he finds himself confronted with this dilemma: has he finally found ‘the one,’ and if so, will this mean no more swipes? Many single guys find committing to one partner extremely difficult if they’ve been used to doing the exact opposite. While hardly as extreme as the cold turkey experienced during drug withdrawal, they could have serious reservations about being forced to give up their bachelor single status.
What are the solutions? While a single guy might agonize about long-term responsibility, there’s a four-letter word which will go a long way towards bringing him back down to earth: love. Even the biggest commitment-phobe will undergo a radical change of heart when his own is captured by the girl he has secretly been dreaming about all along.
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Author: Alex Reddle
Alex Reddle – online dating specialist. He got his Psychological degree at Kent State University. He specializes in the subject of Interpersonal relationships, love, finding a partner. He likes to study human behavior and ways of communication. Being Chief Editor of Flirt.com blog he has conducted a big research in this sphere.